Dogs Have Their Day

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Have you noticed lately how hard it is to go anywhere without running into people with their dogs? And I don’t mean on the streets and in the parks, though evidence of Rover’s presence in such locales is pervasive. One can’t take a stroll after sunset anymore without a flashlight and hip waders, as Benji’s remains seem to be everywhere these days.

No, I mean have you noticed that dogs are showing up with their “guardians” (not “owners,” if you want to be politically correct) in restaurants, malls, shops, and even grocery stores and movie theaters? Hey, I love dogs, but I think federal and California laws on this subject might be turning “man’s best friend” into “everyone’s biggest annoyance.”

All business owners providing any sort of public accommodations are well aware of the federal Americans With Disabilities Act. If they didn’t get the word when it was passed some 20 years ago, they probably got it when they were sued for having a mirror in the restroom hanging an inch too high or when they couldn’t get a permit to resurface the parking lot of their 50-year-old sporting goods store employing five people and barely making ends meet without also installing a $20,000 access ramp for all three of their disabled customers.

Well, the ADA also makes it unlawful to deny access to public facilities to “service animals,” which is especially broadly defined in California to include “psychiatric service animals.” Almost any sort of animal one legally can possess in California (ferrets need not apply) can be a “service animal.” There are no established criteria for obtaining a training certificate. And as far as getting some sort of evaluation entitling one to have a “psychiatric” animal, well, let’s just be reminded how hard it is to get a prescription for medical marijuana in this state.

What really complicates things for public accommodation businesses is that they can get sued if they ask for proof of service animal training, require any sort of special tag to identify the animal as a “service” animal or ask the “guardian” about the nature of his or her disability. That’s right – in California we still have “don’t ask, don’t tell,” but just for service animals.

I have a tough enough time following someone else’s sneezing kid to the Sizzler salad bar without also having to sit in the booth I just saw vacated by Fido and his “Where have you been?” paws. Half the people I see with dogs in stores are carrying them, leaving me to wonder how much the owners paid for “training” what by law are not supposed to be “pets.” Hey, I am the first to say “All make way” for the blind fellow with the cane and the red-vested German shepherd, but excuse me if I don’t hold the door for the glamour puss carrying her “working dog” in a Gucci bag.

Pet peeve

They don’t let people spray you with cologne in department stores anymore, you can’t let your 6-year-old go to school with peanut butter for fear of the one kid who might have a peanut allergy and you sure as heck can’t inflict your secondhand smoke on anybody else (other than from a joint, I guess), but it’s OK to prance through Macy’s with some scruffy mutt who eyes the corner of every display case as if it were a fire hydrant – you can be asked if it is service trained, but you can lie about that with impunity. The business owner can’t even ask for proof that it’s a trained service animal while he hurriedly cleans up the mess so someone else won’t slip and fall and sue him for that.

The ADA provides important opportunities for the disabled, and I don’t doubt for a minute that the expansive California law defining “service” and “animal” helps some of them live a better life as well; I am all for some special treatment of those with disabilities. But is it too much for those of us who don’t especially want to share a restaurant table with Barfy, and for the business owners that have to try to make all customers happy, to ask for a little offer of proof in return? It’s not like they are trying to stop you from voting.

But until this well-intentioned and generally laudable law gets some reality adjustments, check your fear of shoulder parrots (trust me, they are like clowns to some people) and your dander allergies at the door the next time you see Polly or Fido at the table – your weird hang-ups and your sinuses don’t count.


Jeff Briggs is a lawyer with Briggs Law in Hollywood.

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