Showing Holiday Presents of Mind

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Hanukkah and Christmas are upon us, and I’m in the charitable spirit. So here are some gifts I’d like to give:


To NBC Universal and its $3 billion, high-density development plan: Lowered expectations.


To Hollywood: An expansive park atop the Hollywood (101) Freeway, and one that’s built before the turn of the century.


To Bruce Karatz: The urge to donate to charity a big chunk of if not all of that $175 million extra he hauled off when he was deposed from KB Home in the midst of the stock option backdating mess.


To Jamie Masada, owner of the Laugh Factory: A framed copy of the First Amendment.


To Donald Sterling: The heart to carry through with his generous act to build a homeless center in Skid Row, despite the apparent lack of support for it.


To Taco Bell: The conclusion that they shouldn’t put any healthful green vegetables in Mexican food.


To the Griffith Park Observatory: A much bigger food preparation area for the new Wolfgang Puck Caf & #233; at the End of the Universe, where the lunch line stretches to just about the end of the universe.


To LAX-area hotels, which have been ordered by the City Council to give their workers a raise: The stomach to stand on principle and fight.


To the L.A. City Council: The moral clarity to cease its campaign of dreaming up ways to force businesses to pay off the council members’ supporters.


To new L.A. Area Chamber of Commerce president Gary Toebben, who came from America’s heartland and expressed some surprise that business people here are “perceived as a bunch of bad guys”: A sympathy pat on the back.


To any new owner of the Los Angeles Times: The understanding that you can’t cut your way to quality.


To Paris Hilton: Underwear.


To the incoming House Intelligence Committee chairman, Silvestre Reyes: A primer written in big, block letters that explains terrorist organizations, since in a recent interview he said he didn’t know whether al Qaeda was composed of Sunnis or Shiites and had no clue who made up Hezbollah. Such details are kind of important since the Intelligence Committee oversees spy agencies and all. On second thought, let’s give this gift instead:


To Nancy Pelosi: The humility to admit Reyes was a mistake followed by the wisdom to replace him with Jane Harman. Pelosi may not like Harman, but Harman actually knows Hezbollah from a hole in the ground.


To home sellers: Prices that firm up again.


To home buyers: Prices that soften more. And interest rates that stay low.


To downtown condo developers: The return of buyers.


To Amgen: A new blockbuster drug.


To L.A.’s thumb-twiddling, radio-listening, stuck-in-traffic commuters: Innovative thinking by some genius who can somehow deliver traffic relief. In the meantime, I’d settle for cheaper iPods.


To L.A. restaurants: Signs, posted prominently in the back room, telling the wait staff not to interrupt their customers.


To retailers: The courage to follow the example set by Walgreens, Macy’s and Wal-Mart and use the phrase “Merry Christmas” instead of the offensive and neutered “Happy Holidays.”


And to all readers of the Business Journal: The happiest of Hanukkahs, the merriest of Christmases, and the wish that 2007 is your best year ever.



Charles Crumpley is editor of the Business Journal. He can be reached at [email protected].

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