When the number of calls for help to the Sherman Oaks-based Grief Recovery Institute tripled immediately following the terrorist attacks, co-founder John James was almost not available to answer the phone.
He had reserved a seat on American Airlines Flight 11 from Boston to Los Angeles Sept. 11, but on a whim decided to take a red-eye flight home the night before, sparing himself the fate of crashing into the World Trade Center.
“This is the worst crisis in the history of the United States,” said James. “I feel very fortunate to be alive. I guess my work must not be done yet.”
For 20 years, the non-profit institute has helped 50,000 people deal with grief caused by death, divorce, the loss of a job or other problems causing stress, anxiety and sorrow.
But since the tragedy, James also has had to deal with his own emotions.
Russell Friedman, the organization’s executive director and a grief educator, knew James was scheduled to be on the flight. When he awoke Sept. 11 to the news of the crash, he immediately called James’ home.
“For a frozen minute or two, I thought he was dead,” said Friedman. “It was this incredible moment of fear the likes of which I have never experienced. When he answered the phone and I knew he was OK, my heart got back into my body.”
James is an ex-Marine who spent 17 months in combat duty in Vietnam, surviving at least two helicopter crashes. Yet when the two talked on Sept. 11, Friedman said, “I heard a tone of voice in him I’ve never heard before. It was chilling to me.”
James and Friedman said that a new kind of grief sufferer has been among the 1,200 callers seeking assistance daily: people who say they had no emotional problems prior to Sept. 11.
“They don’t have experience in dealing with thoughts and feelings of this situation,” said Friedman. “This (the attack) has never happened before. We help them communicate openly and safely about those thoughts and feelings.”
James co-founded the institute in 1981, four years after his 3-day-old son died of respiratory failure. He and his wife divorced within a year.
He spent four years devouring books on grief, which he said described how he felt, but failed to help him deal with the loss of his son.
So James sold the assets of his successful business selling solar-powered homes, and along with co-founder Frank Cherry pooled together $50,000 to open the institute. Cherry left the organization about 12 years ago.
The non-profit institute survives on a $250,000-per-year budget, according to Friedman, who joined the counseling team 15 years ago on the heels of his second divorce and a failed restaurant business that left him $500,000 in debt.
