Fretful family-business owners spend millions of dollars on books, seminars and outside consultants, but it’s impossible to find a one-size-fits-all solution to deal with problems that arise between family members.

Still, I’ve met the owner-managers of two prosperous family businesses who created unique strategies that may help you sleep better at night.

One 60-year-old seafood company established strict rules and penalties aimed at keeping family members from criticizing or reprimanding employees who didn’t officially report to them. The other business, a staffing firm based in Phoenix, Ariz., began transitioning power from one generation to the next when the founder-mother started working at home part-time. But letting go of the day-to-day power and responsibilities is not easy.

“It feels like a knife in my chest when I go there and see my empty office,” admits Kathy Staudohar, founder of Accent Administrative Staffing. She and her daughter, Sara Staudohar-Emmons, founded the company 11 years ago, relying on the experience Kathy gained from working at national staffing firms.

Accent, which posts annual revenues of between $3 million and $5 million, places about 800 people a year in jobs. It has been profitable since the day it opened. About five years ago, Staudohar’s son, Mark, joined the business after working for a local politician. The three worked well together until a couple of years ago, when Staudohar said she felt her kids began to “gang up” on her. When they weren’t united against her, they competed with each other for her attention something very common in a small-family enterprise.

“I felt myself being pulled back and forth,” said Staudohar, who hired a family therapist to counsel them individually and together. The few sessions helped, but the problems persisted. Last December, Staudohar said she woke up at 3:30 a.m. and decided to take action.

She offered her children three options: Sell the business, fire both of them and hire non-family managers, or she would move out and work a few days a week from home.

“On top of everything else, I felt like I had lost all my personal relationships with them because we saw each other at work everyday,” said Staudohar, who keeps in touch via e-mail and has the ability to tap into the company computer network from her home office. So far, her solution has been well received by her children and their handful of employees.

“This business is my baby, but I’ll never go back,” said Staudohar, who recently turned 60.

Next generation

Daughter, Sara, said her mother’s abrupt departure surprised her, but she thinks things are working out well. She admits she misses seeing her mother everyday, but feels her support from a distance.

“It’s been a great opportunity for Mark and me to step forward and manage the company,” said Staudohar-Emmons. She said they didn’t realize just how much work her mother did until she limited her day-to-day involvement.

“She likes the flexibility of not coming in, but wants to feel needed and needs a place to hang her hat,” said Mark Staudohar, vice president of sales and marketing.

Working part-time from home has freed Kathy Staudohar to spend more time with her ailing mother and husband, who underwent open-heart surgery.

While the Staudohars came up with a novel solution to their problem, the six Cigliano brothers and one sister who own and operate Santa Monica Seafood, a major wholesaler and retailer of high-end seafood, are still grappling with many challenges.

The company, founded in the late 1930s, has three locations and 215 employees. They sell fresh, frozen and smoked seafood to restaurants and retailers in California and Nevada. In recent years, the Cigliano family has hired several management consultants, investment bankers and family therapists to help sort out various problems. Although the Ciglianos all own stock and work at the company, the eldest brother, Gerald, serves as president and CEO and wields the most power.

Reprimanding employees

One of the biggest problems arises when the family members, in their roles as shareholders, reprimand or criticize employees who don’t report to them. Tension created when family members interacted with employees who didn’t work for them led the elder Cigliano to institute a strict policy that calls for verbal and written warnings and a week’s suspension without pay for violations.

“It’s a challenge because we’re both employees and owners,” said Marisa Neal, the youngest of seven siblings, who handles marketing and training for the company’s three retail seafood stores. “The problem is, employees look at you as an owner not necessarily as an employee.”

Neal said that trying to maintain warm family relationships outside the office is a big challenge. After their parents died, the children often gathered at each other’s homes for Sunday dinners, but in recent years, they rarely socialize. She said everyone is busy with their own families and is not motivated to spend time together on weekends.

Neal said it’s tough working for a family business because “things take so long to change.” She also said, “It’s very hard for my siblings to take direction from outsiders.”

“We’re afraid to take risks because it will affect so many people’s lives,” she said, adding that sometimes she wishes they didn’t have a family business.

Jane Applegate is the author of “201 Great Ideas for Your Small Business,” and is CEO of SBTV.com, a multimedia site providing small-business resources. She can be contacted via e-mail at [email protected], or by mail at P.O. Box 768, Pelham, NY 10803.