A simple, red sausage-shaped business card was the unanimous favorite among the judges of my annual Best and Worst Business Card in America contest.
Jerry Gottlieb, a partner at McCaffery Ratner Gottlieb & Lane in New York, two of his art directors, my reporter, Julie Neal, and I agreed the best business card honors should go to the Gorlewski Sausage Shop in Chicago.
When I called to congratulate Joe Gorlewski, he was thrilled but admitted he closed down his North Central Avenue shop 19 years ago!
“The competition was too keen,” said Gorlewski, who is enjoying his retirement but also drives a shuttle bus for a local hospital. “All these new immigrants moved to Chicago from their farms in Poland to start making sausage. I couldn’t compete anymore.”
Gorleweski said the winning card was made by a local printer who died. It was very popular when he, his wife, Jean, and their five children worked in the shop.
“We sold everything we made locally,” he said. “The catering halls wanted our sausage, but they wanted it cheap. I didn’t want to put in water and fat because I didn’t want to pay the biggest water bill in Chicago.”
Gorlewski doesn’t need the custom photo mugs, T-shirts and mouse pads donated by iPrint.com for the contest. We’ll send him another prize, and award the first-prize package to the runner up, Donald Burton, founder of PM Management Co. in Reynoldsburg, Ohio.
“This is great news!” said Burton. “My wife just got fired from her job yesterday.”
Burton, whose card resembles a miniature federal tax return form 1040, specializes in providing tax advice to salespeople who don’t want to be treated as employees. In 1998, he was contacted by the IRS and told he couldn’t pass out his clever blue-and-white card anymore. He was eventually let off the hook in a letter dated Nov. 17, 1998, from Linda Azmon, on behalf of Joseph Maselli, regional counsel for the IRS in Westbury, N.Y.
“Our determination is based on the fact that your business card does not contain a replication of the seal of either the Internal Revenue Service or the Department of Treasury,” she wrote. “Our office has not received any indication that your business card is creating the impression that your business is affiliated with the IRS and/or your use of the Form 1040 was approved or authorized by the Internal Revenue Service.”
Although he is free to use his card, Burton still wonders why he was audited by the IRS and had to pay $13,000 in back taxes and penalties based on his 1994 and 1995 returns.
Best of the worst
Snappy new business cards, letterhead, envelopes and pens are heading to Rajan Jon, founder of Web Scope Interactive Group in Fullerton. Jon’s handwritten “worst business” card is not only difficult to read, but he copied it on to both sides of a flimsy piece of paper.
“I can create the best Web sites, but I have the worst card,” said Jon, a 23-year-old self-taught Web designer from Thailand. Despite his low-budget card, he’s been hired to design sites for a major utility company and a restaurant chain in Mexico.
“Clients look at it and ask me, ‘What is this?’ I’m not sure I want a new card, because I’m getting such good publicity from this one.”
There was another awful card submitted by Rock Munnis, a sales rep for Ken Ahorra Inc. We can’t contact him, because the card has NO address or phone number on it!
This year’s funniest card belongs to Kirk Shaw, a busy New Jersey bail bondsman.
“Support Your Local Bailbondsman Get Arrested” is the slogan on the florescent orange card, which features a sad man stuck behind bars.
“We get comments all the time,” said Shaw, who took over the business from his father, Leonard, about a year ago. “Everyone I bail out gets a card. It’s good for repeat business.”
Shaw, who has 10 employees serving criminals jailed in Hackensack and Paterson, said he’s been in the business for 21 years. “The hours are pretty crummy, but it could be profitable if no one jumped bail.”
(Shaw will receive a leather laptop computer case from ApplegateWay.com).
This year’s most unusual card belongs to Todd French of Dana Point. A professional cellist, French is the founder of StringWorks.com, an Appleton, Wis.-based manufacturer of string instruments. His elegant card features a caricature of French sketched by an animator who worked on Disney’s “The Lion King.”
“I can’t remember his name, and you can’t read his signature,” French said. “He came in to the office one day to see my sister, did the sketch, and gave it to me.”
French, who appraises string instruments for an auction house and appears on an auction show on HGTV, plays for the Los Angeles Opera and L.A. Mozart Orchestra. He started making and selling instruments because the ones rented by music students were so poorly made.
“Our instruments start out in Germany, move to Sri Lanka, and end up in Wisconsin,” said French, who expects revenues to reach $250,000 this year. “The Internet is my virtual storefront, and sales are tripling every year.
Rest of the pack
Here are additional winners of this year’s competition, which attracted about 300 entries from around the United States:
-Iola “Cookie” Wilder, a nail technician in Ohio, has a very eye-catching card. She’s wearing a silvery tank top in the color photo. You can’t help but notice her nails, after you admire the flower tattooed on her chest. (Cookie will receive a prize if she contacts me with her address).
-Lawrence O. Michaelis, vice president of Michaelis Corp. in Indianapolis, is a general contractor who specializes in fire and flood repair. His card features a burnt-out spot in the upper right hand corner. Very clever!
-Al Curtis, a broker for Alternative Plastic Services, with headquarters in Lawrenceburg, Ind., received high praise for his gold plastic card. It clearly tells you what he sells, and has all his contact information.
-Joseph Goralik, a general counsel for Heli Services in El Segundo, submitted a simple card featuring a great photo of a helicopter flying against a lavender sky.
You can view all the winning cards at www.applegateway.com until March 15.
If you need help doing your business card, check out any book by Gail Finke. Her most recent is “Fresh Ideas in Letterhead and Business Card Design #4.”
Reporting by Julie Neal. Jane Applegate is the author of “201 Great Ideas for Your Small Business,” and is founder of ApplegateWay.com, a multimedia Web site for busy entrepreneurs. She can be reached via e-mail at [email protected].
