Leno and Letterman couldn’t do it. Bill Maher tried but failed. “Saturday Night Live” didn’t dare. And the talented comedians who appeared on a live, all-star telethon didn’t even bother.
So it was up to The Onion to try to wring some laughter out of America’s response to the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. While most comedians have steered safely clear of the tragedy, the popular satirical Web site was the first to offer a humorous take on the topic that has dominated the American psyche since the tragedies occurred.
After posting a collection of previously prepared stories the day after the attacks, The Onion (theonion.com) launched a new edition Sept. 26 entirely dedicated to the terrorist attacks. It was a risky decision that presented staff writers with countless possibilities for failure. But they succeeded wildly, mixing irony and anger into a hilarious parody that validates the Internet’s role as a breeding ground for brave content no traditional media outlet would touch.
The Onion actually has its roots in traditional media, beginning life as a satirical newspaper published in Madison, Wis. While the print edition still circulates, the publication gained fame with a Web site that parodies the news media and the subjects it covers.
Irreverence a watchword
The Onion’s brand of dry, edgy humor isn’t for everyone. The site will offend people who think it’s inappropriate to have fun with religion, race and other cultural taboos. The writers also favor language that isn’t even allowed on “NYPD Blue.” But if you’re the sort who’s amused by headlines like “Mother Teresa Sent to Hell in Wacky Afterlife Mix-up,” “Basketball Star Blames God for Defeat” or “Collectible-Plate Industry Calls for Tragic Death of Streisand,” then The Onion is your kind of newspaper.
The latest edition satirizes news coverage of the terrorist attacks, right down to an expletive-laden “Attack on America” logo that shows the entire country on fire. The top story, “U.S. Vows to Defeat Whoever It Is We’re At War Against,” details the search for someone anyone to punish for the attacks.
“With any luck, they’ll have uniforms of some sort,” U.S. Sen. John McCain is quoted as saying. House Speaker Dennis Hastert is shown wondering whether Congress can declare war against “maybe three or four Egyptian guys, an Algerian, and this other guy who kind of looks Lebanese but could be Syrian,” and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is quoted as pining for a more traditional war.
“We were lucky enough at Pearl Harbor to be the victim of a craven sneak attack from an aggressor with the decency to attack military targets, use their own damn planes, and clearly mark those planes with their national insignia so that we knew who they were,” he says.
Parody and charity
That story and others manage to extract laughs from the terrorist attacks without diminishing their horror or the significance of our loss. One story, “Hijackers Surprised to Find Selves in Hell,” brutally skewers the terrorists’ apparent belief that killing thousands of innocent people would win them a free pass to eternal paradise. Other headlines speak for themselves:
“Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake.”
“Dinty-Moore Breaks Long Silence on Terrorism With Full-Page Ad.”
“God Angrily Clarifies ‘Don’t Kill’ Rule.”
That last one is perhaps the best story on the site, featuring coverage of a post-attack press conference with God. “Get it straight,” He says. “Not only do I not want anybody to kill anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to do so, in really simple terms that anybody ought to be able to understand.”
The site features banner ads appealing for donations to relief funds and a note explaining that a portion of proceeds from this edition will be given to New York firefighters. But the site already has made a valuable contribution to the relief of millions of Americans inundated by news coverage of the horrifying tragedy. At a time when many of us feel ready to cry, The Onion was brave enough to try to make us laugh.
To contact syndicated columnist Joe Salkowski, you can e-mail him at [email protected] or write to him c/o Tribune Media Services, Inc., 435 N. Michigan Ave., Suite 1400, Chicago, IL 60611.
